Censorship
In the late morning hours of Tuesday January 20th, the long brewing problems between my wife and I broke open. I found out that she wanted to divorce me. My wife went from being my wife to a cold and seemingly unfeeling person at the drop of a hat.
She insisted that she did not have a boyfriend. She swore it was for "different" reasons. Later that night after she went to work I found out the truth and what had been happening. It was so bizarre my mind had a hard time actually accepting it as reality. I spent the next few hours in deep panic mode.
My wife had counted on the fact that I would panic and not react well. She thought that I would do everything she asked and that the divorce would honestly be over in around 30 days.
Boy was she wrong.
Within 24 hours I had an attorney of my own. I fought for my kids and my home. Six weeks later I tricked my wife in leaving the house and never her let her back in. Three weeks after that we went to court for temporary custody. She showed up by herself.
I showed up with my family and friends. 12 people in all. I would have had more (three times as many.) but there wasn't enough time to assemble them before the hearing.
My wife's attorney found out for the first time the bizarre facts behind my divorce. As the hearing went on he looked more and more uneasy and finally ended the hearing staring at his yellow legal pad and trying to mumble some words in her defense.
The Judge gave me the kids and the house in a ruling for temporary custody.
Sadly my divorce only became more bizarre from that point out.
So why am I writing this? I have another blog that I've been writing for quite some time. Why not write this there?
I'll tell you why.
On Friday January 23rd 2004, mere days after all this crap began , I wrote one of my best post ever. It dealt with my feelings and thoughts about what had been going on. I spoke of my feelings of betrayal and my thoughts for what I was going to do. I spoke of what I planned to do to my wife. (all legal. Don't worry. I'm not stupid enough to put anything bad in print.) I spoke of my wife's new boyfriend. (or should I say husband.) When I was done I looked at it with a feeling of self satisfaction.
I went to bed (or should I say couch) and slept soundly. My wife came home at four that morning from work. She son woke me up as she tore the house apart. She was in deep panic mode (one can tell these things after 10 years of a happy marriage.) and looking for a pack of cigarettes. We of course had none. I did what any caring person would do and ignored her.
The next morning I went upstairs to dress and found my bedroom door locked. 33 seconds later after I picked the lock I entered the bedroom and found she had also locked me out of my computer.
"Hmmmmmm.", I thought. "She must have read my blog."
I took my kids to school and went to my sisters and checked it out. Not only had she read it she had deleted the entry I posted the night before.
Now I was pissed.
I called my attorney and after I explained the problem (I believe the First admendment was brought up a few times.) he called her attorney. My computer was unlocked and my blog was returned to me.
after writing my blog for almost a year I had begun to find it a source of comfort. I could write down thoughts that I needed to sort out or even just for a way to blow off steam. Now I found it denied me. I could still write about the divorce I knew. But all it do would set my wife off.
And I didn't want that.
I don't work like that. I work a bit more sneaky. I wanted my wife to fall back into a level of being comfortable with me. I wanted her to trust me.
And I just couldn't do that while writing a blog everyday with titles like, "Angie has gone even more Insane Part 53" . So I smiled and told her in even cool tones, "Don't worry. I won't say anything bad about you in my blog."
I wanted to choke on the bile coming up in my throat.
A few weeks ago I made a passing reference to her ...Boyfriend. She became very upset. Weeks of work almost went down the tube. She yelled at me, "I thought you said you weren't going to write any more blasphemous crap about him or me!?"
"But honey," I said (Yup I still call her honey. Sick isn't it.) " You have to be a God for it to be blasphemy."
So I'm stuck with wanting, needing, to write about something, yet not being able to because I need for my wife to trust me, while I divorce her. And I just can't wait or hold it in until this damn divorce is over with anymore. Writing my blog has become very tiresome. I still want to write it for the reasons I say in it, but right now I need to write this stuff down before I explode.
Then the answer came to me.
I'll start a new blog.
One my wife knows nothing about. I can get this stuff out and not set my wife off into orbit while trying to settle this divorce. So if a post happens to start in say 1977 don't worry. It has something to do with my divorce now.
Trust me.
So Welcome to Even More Drivel. (the censored stuff.)
She insisted that she did not have a boyfriend. She swore it was for "different" reasons. Later that night after she went to work I found out the truth and what had been happening. It was so bizarre my mind had a hard time actually accepting it as reality. I spent the next few hours in deep panic mode.
My wife had counted on the fact that I would panic and not react well. She thought that I would do everything she asked and that the divorce would honestly be over in around 30 days.
Boy was she wrong.
Within 24 hours I had an attorney of my own. I fought for my kids and my home. Six weeks later I tricked my wife in leaving the house and never her let her back in. Three weeks after that we went to court for temporary custody. She showed up by herself.
I showed up with my family and friends. 12 people in all. I would have had more (three times as many.) but there wasn't enough time to assemble them before the hearing.
My wife's attorney found out for the first time the bizarre facts behind my divorce. As the hearing went on he looked more and more uneasy and finally ended the hearing staring at his yellow legal pad and trying to mumble some words in her defense.
The Judge gave me the kids and the house in a ruling for temporary custody.
Sadly my divorce only became more bizarre from that point out.
So why am I writing this? I have another blog that I've been writing for quite some time. Why not write this there?
I'll tell you why.
On Friday January 23rd 2004, mere days after all this crap began , I wrote one of my best post ever. It dealt with my feelings and thoughts about what had been going on. I spoke of my feelings of betrayal and my thoughts for what I was going to do. I spoke of what I planned to do to my wife. (all legal. Don't worry. I'm not stupid enough to put anything bad in print.) I spoke of my wife's new boyfriend. (or should I say husband.) When I was done I looked at it with a feeling of self satisfaction.
I went to bed (or should I say couch) and slept soundly. My wife came home at four that morning from work. She son woke me up as she tore the house apart. She was in deep panic mode (one can tell these things after 10 years of a happy marriage.) and looking for a pack of cigarettes. We of course had none. I did what any caring person would do and ignored her.
The next morning I went upstairs to dress and found my bedroom door locked. 33 seconds later after I picked the lock I entered the bedroom and found she had also locked me out of my computer.
"Hmmmmmm.", I thought. "She must have read my blog."
I took my kids to school and went to my sisters and checked it out. Not only had she read it she had deleted the entry I posted the night before.
Now I was pissed.
I called my attorney and after I explained the problem (I believe the First admendment was brought up a few times.) he called her attorney. My computer was unlocked and my blog was returned to me.
after writing my blog for almost a year I had begun to find it a source of comfort. I could write down thoughts that I needed to sort out or even just for a way to blow off steam. Now I found it denied me. I could still write about the divorce I knew. But all it do would set my wife off.
And I didn't want that.
I don't work like that. I work a bit more sneaky. I wanted my wife to fall back into a level of being comfortable with me. I wanted her to trust me.
And I just couldn't do that while writing a blog everyday with titles like, "Angie has gone even more Insane Part 53" . So I smiled and told her in even cool tones, "Don't worry. I won't say anything bad about you in my blog."
I wanted to choke on the bile coming up in my throat.
A few weeks ago I made a passing reference to her ...Boyfriend. She became very upset. Weeks of work almost went down the tube. She yelled at me, "I thought you said you weren't going to write any more blasphemous crap about him or me!?"
"But honey," I said (Yup I still call her honey. Sick isn't it.) " You have to be a God for it to be blasphemy."
So I'm stuck with wanting, needing, to write about something, yet not being able to because I need for my wife to trust me, while I divorce her. And I just can't wait or hold it in until this damn divorce is over with anymore. Writing my blog has become very tiresome. I still want to write it for the reasons I say in it, but right now I need to write this stuff down before I explode.
Then the answer came to me.
I'll start a new blog.
One my wife knows nothing about. I can get this stuff out and not set my wife off into orbit while trying to settle this divorce. So if a post happens to start in say 1977 don't worry. It has something to do with my divorce now.
Trust me.
So Welcome to Even More Drivel. (the censored stuff.)
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